'If someone had asked me a year ago why I thought it was that men leave women and never come back. I would have said this: New Cow New Cow is short for New Cow Theory, which is for Old Cow-New Cow Theory, which, of course, is short for the sad sorry truth that men leave women and never come back because all they really want is a new Cow. ' Jane Goodall, the narrator, is a TV producer on a chat show. She has just been dumped by a colleague, whom she was nuts about. As part of her very personal recovery programme, she develops a theory of romantic relationships - something a magazine editor girlfriend likes so much, she persuades Jane to publish under a pseudonym. It is a column which brings her success and a measure of revenge. But there is no cure for love.