Preschool Gems: Love, Death, Magic and Other Surprising Treasures fr om the Mouths of Babes

When preschool teacher Leslie McCollom created the Preschool Gems Twitter feed, it was because precious jewels were slipping through her fingers every day. Jewels like, 'My mom lived in the nineties,' 'I'm feeling poisonous, baby kitty,' and 'OK, but I'm still a dragon.'
Although she swore she'd remember these gems forever, in five minutes they would vanish, never to be heard again. So she became a covert anthropologist in the underground world of children, and has been gracing the Twitterverse with her findings ever since—such as:
'There's a wolf in my tummy and a porcupine in my bum.' 'I don't care about time-outs. I only care about my life.' 'I love David Bowie. I'm going to marry David Bowie.' Preschool Gems is a collection of the most bizarre, hilarious, jaw-dropping things overheard at Leslie's school. By turns sweet, sinister, and naively sincere, these treasures prove that kids are really just miniature people who are weirder and a lot less inhibited than their adult counterparts. 

'Sometimes, the greatest jokes come from tellers who have no idea what they're saying is funny. Children . . . have very little filter and crazy imaginations-in a good way. Preschool Gems [is] an outlet for the awesome conversational tidbits [a teacher hears] on a regular basis.' The A.V. Club