R.A. Spratt comes clean on the whereabouts of Nanny Piggins.
I am afraid Nanny Piggins is unable to write her own blog entry today, because she has been arrested for ‘borrowing’ a bus.
Fortunately she was able to send me a coded message in the form of cookies, baked in the shape of letters from the alphabet. (Apparently the Police Sergeant was kind enough to allow her access to the police station oven as well as large amounts of sugar, butter and flour).
Anyway, Nanny Piggins’ message reads:
Please please please do something about your hair. The last time I saw you, you looked dreadful. If you won’t get it cut, the least you could do is buy a hat – a big one, with ear flaps, to make sure everything is entirely covered. Then when you have done that, get me a lawyer, a good one (ie. Not Mr Green).
Your Glamorous Muse
Nanny Piggins F.P.
I’m sure Nanny Piggins would have gone on to say how sorry she is not to be doing this last blog entry herself, but she ran out of letter-shaped cookies. So thank you to everyone who has read her blog this week.
If you want to know more about Nanny Piggins’ opinions, attitudes and adventures then don’t wait for her to blog again (It may be some time. The cheeses at Penguin Random House have been muttering words like ‘banned’, ‘unnecessarily hostile’ and ‘disgrace’ when the topic of her blog comes up). So instead you can read my books, I do try to copy down everything Nanny Piggins says verbatim (otherwise she bites my shins).
P.S. I’m sure that the rumour Boris started about Nanny Piggins deliberately getting herself arrested so that she would not have to write another blog entry are entirely untrue.
P.P.S. For further information about me or Nanny Piggins you can visit us at raspratt.com
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