Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly is a man of the people-if the people are basically birds and drop-dead focking gorgeous. Because life is short, roysh, so you can't fock about with, like, rolling mauls, you've got to head straight for the line. Which is second nature to a try-scorer like me, given my ball-handling skills. How the hell did I get so lucky? Focked if I know.

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly is the author of several bestselling books including; The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Dress, Should Have Got Off at Sydney Parade, and This Champagne Mojito is the Last Thing I Own.