Aroha

4

Ko te mauri,

he mea huna

ki te moana.

The life force is hidden in the sea.

Powerful aspects of life are hidden in plain sight.

This whakataukī stems from one of our famous ancestors from the north, Nukutawhiti. He cast his kura, his feathered cloak, into the Hokianga Harbour to calm the waters for safe passage. And this treasure remains there, out of sight, yet signifies the ancient presence of those that have gone before.

This saying has given me strength so many times. I have always found it comforting because it speaks to the hidden magic of life.

It reminds me of those things we feel intuitively but often ignore – we can choose to tune in to our gut instinct, for example, or wait until the messages become clearer and more obvious.

And it reminds me that we all have hidden powers inside us that we can too easily forget. Lately I have been thinking about this whakataukī in relation to my moko kauae, the facial markings I have worn since Matariki, the Māori new year, 17 June, 2017. I have always been fascinated by moko kauae. As a child, I looked in wonder at pictures of the women with these scarifications. I remember thinking that mine was hidden under the surface of my skin and would one day appear, as if by magic.

Growing up, I heard so many different things about what it meant to be eligible to wear moko kauae. I heard that you had to be an expert speaker of our language, you must uphold our cultural values and it was necessary to be shoulder-tapped as ready for this honour. I have mulled this over for many years, speaking to my relations and friends who had already taken that step. One of my esteemed female friends, who has carried the moko kauae for many years, asked me one day, ‘What are you waiting for?’ So, I gave her a list of my inadequacies: I was not fluent enough, I hadn’t achieved enough in my work. She looked me right in the eye and said, ‘So?’

And, in fact, deep down, hidden under those layers, I knew in my gut that the time was right. Maybe the fact that we were having the conversation over the water made a difference too. I was suddenly aware of the hidden, treasured feather cloak deep under the waves, like the moko kauae under my skin.

And so my own moko kauae, once obscured from view, was revealed. People ask me if it hurt. It didn’t. Karakia took me into a meditative realm. I would occasionally surface to hear the talking and singing of those around me and then I would float away again. I recall being under the ocean at one point. Swimming in deep waters, feeling the gentle water against my body. An overwhelming sense of calm. A powerful sense of coming home.

This whakataukī is part of my moko kauae story. It is a reminder that so many of our lives’ achievements can be hidden from us. That we can forget our powers, and what we contribute to the world, when the ancient resources are hard to see.

Reclaim your childhood memories – recall them. Bring forward with your mind the simple truths and hopes that you connected with when you were young and that growing up somehow made you dismiss as ‘childish’. Maybe start with something simple like washing your face. It might sound strange, but whether you like a cold splash or a gentle warm flannel, this simple act can help to bring your attention in those moments to an act of kindness for yourself. In those few seconds just let any positive memories of childhood emerge. Maybe these will give you some clues to follow in discovering more about how to bring forward some uplifting aspects of yourself.

Remember your hidden powers, your true self, and bring it into the light.