> Skip to content
About the book
  • Published: 1 June 2011
  • ISBN: 9780091923938
  • Imprint: Vermilion
  • Format: Paperback
  • Pages: 384
  • RRP: $29.99

How Not to F*** Them Up

A controversial follow-up to the bestselling They F*** You Up by leading psychologist and author of Affluenza, Oliver James

In the bestselling They F*** You Up, leading clinical child psychologist Oliver James showed that it is the way we were cared for in the first six years of life that has a crucial effect on who we are and how we behave. Now, James is ready to offer practical strategies and techniques to ensure, as parents, we don’t f*** up our children.

Working on the premise that the needs of small children must be met if they are to grow up mentally healthy and self-motivated, How Not to F*** Them Up shows that parents need to analyse what happened to them in their own childhood in order to relate well to their baby.

By identifying three basic types of parent – The Hugger (stays at home as much as possible in the baby’s early years), The Scheduler (gets the baby into a routine early on and returns to work full-time) and The Pragmatist (a mixture of the two) – and highlighting the potential problems that go with each one, Oliver James offers practical strategies for parents to enable them to change their innate behaviour and raise their child in the best possible way.

  • Pub date: 1 June 2011
  • ISBN: 9780091923938
  • Imprint: Vermilion
  • Format: Paperback
  • Pages: 384
  • RRP: $29.99

About the Author

Oliver James

Oliver James trained and practised as a child clinical psychologist and, since 1988, has worked as a writer, journalist and television documentary producer and presenter. His books include Juvenile Violence in a Winner-Loser Culture, the bestselling They F*** You Up, Affluenza and Contented Dementia. He is a trustee of two children's charities: the National Family and Parenting Institute and Homestart.

Also by Oliver James

See all

Praise for How Not to F*** Them Up

“Easily readable, liberating ... a book you can trust.”

The Independent

“In a perfect world every parent would have a parenting masterclass before the baby arrives. This is the next best thing!”

Arabella Weir

“At last, something for the modern mother! A sane voice amid the shrill cacophony of childcare books”

Imogen Edwards-Jones

“I agree with Oliver James. Caring for a baby or toddler is personal, because you have to tune in to the child's changing needs.”

Sue Palmer, The Times

“Unlike other books of this sort, How Not to F*** Them Up focuses on the wellbeing of the parent as a starting point for meeting the needs of the child... This is a man who wears his heart on his sleeve, and is not afraid to admit his own frailties. As a result his theories come across not as condescension, but as advice from one fucked-up-person to another.”

Jake Wallis Simons, The Independent on Sunday

Related titles