Secure Love
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  • Published: 1 February 2024
  • ISBN: 9781804942543
  • Imprint: Penguin
  • Format: EBook
  • Pages: 336

Secure Love

Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

Formats & editions
Tr. Paperback
21 May 2024
EBook
1 Feb 2024
Audiobook
1 Feb 2024
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Rooted in attachment theory and couples' therapy, Julie Menanno builds on her indispensable Instagram account @thesecurerelationship to reveal how lasting bonds are both created and sustained

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A good question, in theory, but expert couple's therapist Julie Menanno wants you to ask a slightly different one: what does a securely attached relationship feel like?

The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, a ground-breaking guide to secure attachment in adult relationships. While attachment style has grown in popularity to explain the relationship between children and their caregivers, it also helps us understand ourselves in relationships today based on that childhood attachment. How we attach-or don't-ultimately shapes our adult romantic relationship.

Julie Menanno is the couple's therapist behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship, which has one million followers dedicated to her wisdom. In Secure Love, Menanno tackles:

- Why you and your partner have the same fight over and over (hint: it's called a negative cycle, and underlying every fight, argument, silent treatment, or passive-aggressive comment is an unmet attachment need).
- The four attachment types, with exercises designed to help you understand your and any partner's attachment style.
- How to improve communication in a relationship, including staying connected during conflict and prioritizing vulnerability-rather than protectivity-in communication.
- "Instead of that, say this" suggested scripts of how to approach difficult situations in a relationship from a more productive and vulnerable stance.
- Why insecure attachment negatively impacts a couple's sex life and how to restore that sexual connection.
Secure Love is a deep dive in understanding how you show up in a relationship and diagnosing the negative cycles you and your partner may get trapped in. It offers you the chance to learn how to establish and maintain a secure attachment to create a lifelong bond.
  • Published: 1 February 2024
  • ISBN: 9781804942543
  • Imprint: Penguin
  • Format: EBook
  • Pages: 336
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About the author

Julie Menanno

Julie Menanno (MA, LMFT, LCPC) is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. She founded and runs the Bozeman Therapy & Counseling clinic, and The Secure Relationship Coaching. She lives in Bozeman, Montana, with her husband and six children.

Praise for Secure Love

With Secure Love, you’ll be armed with eternal wisdom for strengthening your relationship. Julie Menanno exquisitely explores the science behind attachment theory, how our earliest relationships impact our relationship today, and how to create a deeper bond together. A must read for any couple or therapist

Dr. Sue Johnson, bestselling author of HOLD ME TIGHT

An essential, empowering and practical guide to navigating relationships. Filled with real-life examples from her work as a therapist, Julie Menanno teaches us how to connect with our partners to create a felt sense of safety, security and comfort, even when challenging times inevitably emerge

Jessica Baum, author of ANXIOUSLY ATTACHED

As a therapist, I've seen thousands of people desperately wanting better relationships but not knowing what that means or how to create them. In Secure Love, Julie Menanno offers a practical, easy-to-understand guide to how attachment theory underlies the challenging patterns we bring into adult relationships and what we can all do to create the secure, lasting love we desire. This is a must-read for every couple, at any stage of their relationship

Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE

An incredibly wise and helpful guide to help all of us fabulously flawed humans give and receive the love we deserve. No romantic partnership should be without it

Jen Sincero, New York Times bestselling author of YOU ARE A BADASS

Compassionate, humane, and extremely helpful. Julie Menanno’s Secure Love is a must read for anyone wanting to improve their relationships and gain a greater understanding of why they had trouble in the first place. Becoming a better partner is a lifelong journey, and Menanno’s book is a vital part of that path

Kati Morton, bestselling author of Are u ok? & TRAUMATIZED

This book will wisely and warmly take you by the hand and show how tuning into your past experiences of relationships can transform your present relationship. Julie Menanno digs deep into attachment theory, making it accessible and meaningful for anyone who wants to improve the atmosphere of their couple relationship and find more productive ways to communicate with each other

Joanna Harrison, author of FIVE ARGUMENTS ALL COUPLES (NEED TO) HAVE