In Minne Darke’s romantic comedy Star-crossed, a journalist messes with her magazine’s horoscopes in order to attract the affections of a friend. There’ll be no such clandestine meddling with the Penguin rapid-fire quiz. Here the inner-workings of Darke’s psyche are illuminated for all.
Tea or coffee?
Tea. And I quote Colley Cibber: ‘Tea! Thou soft, thou sober, sage and venerable liquid... to whose glorious insipidity, I owe the happiest moments of my life, let me fall prostrate.’
Pencil or pen?
Pencil. I have a problem with commitment.
Serifs or sans serifs?
Serifs. Because they make words look like they belong in books.
Mercury or Venus?
Mercury. Messenger of the Gods! Known for wit, cleverness and wordiness.
Cinema or lounge room?
Lounge room. It has my dogs in it.
Vanilla or chocolate?
Chocolate. Seriously? Who thinks that is even a question?
Cats or dogs?
Dogs. Cats know nothing of love; dogs know everything.
Spring or autumn?
Autumn. ‘Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.’ (Emily Bronte)
Beats or guitars?
Guitars. Because I don’t know what beats are.
Savoury or sweet?
Nope. Not answering that one. That’s like being asked if you’re a Bronte person or an Austen person. The answer is that they cannot be separated, though their pleasures are unlike.