First things first: yes I am very tall, no the weather isn’t different up here, and no I don’t play basketball. Glad that’s out the way.
I’ve been a professional footballer for 20 years, have 42 England caps, have scored over 100 Premier League goals and hold the record for the most headed goals in Premier League history.
In my time I’ve been promoted, relegated, won trophies, gone months without scoring, been bought, sold, loaned and abused - and I've loved almost every moment of it.
The first truly insider guide to being a Premiership footballer, from Britain's funniest sporting icon.
In the sequel to the huge bestseller, How to be a Footballer, Peter Crouch tells us more ludicrous tales from the secret world of football.