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Article  •  28 September 2016

 

Beating the bullies

Change the feelings caused by bullying.

There's lots of info in Girl Stuff 8-12 about how to get help to combat bullies. Here's just one part of the plan, about how to turn around some of the bad feelings bullying can provoke:

First thought: ‘It must be my fault somehow.’
More useful thought: ‘No, it’s not my fault.’

‘It’s never going to stop.’
More useful thought: ‘There are things I can do to try to make it stop – and I’ll start right now.’

‘I have to face it alone.’
More useful thought: ‘I need to talk to an adult who can help.’

‘Nothing can help me.’
More useful thought: ‘There are lots of people and strategies that can help.’

‘Nobody likes me.’
More useful thought: ‘I need to find some of My People. These are not My People.’

‘I’m scared to go to school or where the bullies are, but I can’t escape.’"
More useful thought: ‘I can escape: I need help to stop this, or to move to another school.’

 ‘I feel rejected and depressed.’
More useful thought: ‘I need to find some friends and get some help. I will start feeling better and be back on the way to happiness.’

‘I need to pretend I’m fine and make lots of jokes.’
More useful thought: ‘I don’t have to pretend this is okay. It’s not a joke if only one side laughs.’

‘I should pick on someone else so that they do too, and leave me alone.’
More useful thought: ‘I won’t let them turn me into a mean person.’

‘They make me feel ashamed of myself, my family and my culture.’
More useful thought: ‘I’m proud of myself, my family and my culture. It’s the bullies who have the problem.’

‘I don’t fit in anywhere.’
More useful thought: ‘This is not a place where I would want to fit in. But there is a place for me where I can be different and fit in, and I’ll find it. I am not alone.’


Girl Stuff 8–12 Kaz Cooke

Girl Stuff 8–12 is the essential younger girl's guide to puberty and the pre-teen years. Fully revised and updated edition 2019/2020

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