> Skip to content

Article  •  28 September 2016

 

Beating the bullies

Change the feelings caused by bullying.

There's lots of info in Girl Stuff 8-12 about how to get help to combat bullies. Here's just one part of the plan, about how to turn around some of the bad feelings bullying can provoke:

First thought: ‘It must be my fault somehow.’
More useful thought: ‘No, it’s not my fault.’

‘It’s never going to stop.’
More useful thought: ‘There are things I can do to try to make it stop – and I’ll start right now.’

‘I have to face it alone.’
More useful thought: ‘I need to talk to an adult who can help.’

‘Nothing can help me.’
More useful thought: ‘There are lots of people and strategies that can help.’

‘Nobody likes me.’
More useful thought: ‘I need to find some of My People. These are not My People.’

‘I’m scared to go to school or where the bullies are, but I can’t escape.’"
More useful thought: ‘I can escape: I need help to stop this, or to move to another school.’

 ‘I feel rejected and depressed.’
More useful thought: ‘I need to find some friends and get some help. I will start feeling better and be back on the way to happiness.’

‘I need to pretend I’m fine and make lots of jokes.’
More useful thought: ‘I don’t have to pretend this is okay. It’s not a joke if only one side laughs.’

‘I should pick on someone else so that they do too, and leave me alone.’
More useful thought: ‘I won’t let them turn me into a mean person.’

‘They make me feel ashamed of myself, my family and my culture.’
More useful thought: ‘I’m proud of myself, my family and my culture. It’s the bullies who have the problem.’

‘I don’t fit in anywhere.’
More useful thought: ‘This is not a place where I would want to fit in. But there is a place for me where I can be different and fit in, and I’ll find it. I am not alone.’


Girl Stuff 8–12 Kaz Cooke

Girl Stuff 8–12 is the essential younger girl's guide to puberty and the pre-teen years. Fully revised and updated edition 2019/2020

Buy now
Buy now

More features

See all
Article
Kaz on research

The 4000 voices of Girl Stuff 8–12, Your Real Guide to the Pre-Teen Years.

Article
Being online

Tips for parents and kids. 

Article
5 intermediate books we're looking forward to this year

Get your kids excited to get back into reading after the summer holidays with these fantastic adventures!

Article
Find your perfect summer read!

Need help finding your next great beach read? This collection has every kind of reader covered.

Article
Real readers review: You'll Be The Death of Me

What do NZ YA fans really think of Karen McManus' latest book?

Article
5 books to take to the beach this summer!

Summer is a great time to catch up on prizewinners from the previous 12 months, return to old favourites or for a bit of personal development. Here are our top five suggestions.

Article
Puffin Summer Book Bingo

Turn reading over the summer into a game! Download and print off our book bingo sheet for inventive ways to enjoy a story and try different genres. Read under a tree; read a non-fiction book, visit a library; are you up to the challenge?

Article
Dear reader: A letter from Brené Brown

The bestselling author of Gifts of Imperfection and Dare to Lead on the vastness of human emotion.

Article
One of Us is Lying: Meet the suspects

Five students get detention, only four leave alive. How far would you go to protect your secrets?

Article
New Zealand's Wild Weather Introduction

From Earth’s very origins, weather has exerted its mercurial influence and shaped the world we know. Wielding tempests and storms, weather has the power to disrupt and destroy; yet at its most gentle, it can relieve and restore.

Article
Kia Kaha profile - Taika Waititi

He kept trying new things, experimenting and, most importantly, he kept making stuff. Creative, unusual and funny stuff. Eventually, Taika thought he’d try to make a short film . . .

Looking for more articles?

See all articles